It's no secret that most women feel men don't listen to them. This belief is especially prevalent in marriages. Not surprisingly, men agree. They don't listen to women that much. A husband may tell his wife, "Yeah, I'm listening." But as soon as she says what we all say ("Then what did I say?"), he tells her what he thinks she may have sort of kind of said if he were really tuning in. Well ladies, there is an art to getting a man to give his full attention to you when you are speaking, and it doesn't involve talking about sports, money or sex. Most men will try hard to listen if you do the following three things:
1) Make most of what you have to say substantive. As women, we know we tend to ramble. We will chatter on at length about almost anything. This is not a criticism. Actually, it's a skill. We are witty, intuitive, opinionated, and compassionate. We need all of those qualities in being effective communicators because they help us in our flexibility to communicate a variety of needs for ourselves and as a help to others. As women, we get it. However, if you're male, you may wonder if the woman in front of you is mayor of the Town of Babel. She is all over the topic map, and all you hear is yak, yak, yakkety, yak. So ladies, do this: speak to the specific topic at hand unless you're in a social setting, and even then, you may have to tighten up the idle talk. Stay focused because men don't travel from one topic to another as rapidly as we do. If you move too quickly, you may cause them injury. Give them time to follow you. Make sure you get to the point and be done because they will surely turn off the rambling.
2) Be expressive but not emotional. Say what you mean in as animated a way as you choose, but don't get all screechy or whiny or catty. In other words, express emotion without becoming all emotional. Avoid any loss of self control. Are you raising your voice to some high-pitched decibel that resembles the caw of a crow? Are your words quivering and cracking like your level of confidence is as fragile as an egg shell? Though I don't suggest you try to present yourself as a wall of steel, I do recommend you try to temper your emotions in business settings, during difficult conversations, and in high stakes negotiations. Always come to men from a position of strength with a bit of vulnerability that says you're not trying to emasculate him, but that you command a modicum of respect as well.
3) Show your intelligence. If you are knowledgeable and smart about business, life, and/or your craft, then put it on display. For too long, the wrong qualities in women have been exhibited by unwise females. We've not been taken seriously, and men have overlooked us for opportunities that could contribute to our success, and even to their own with our help. The media has helped perpetuate female stereotypes to the point that most of what our counterparts see is sniping, manipulation and selfishness. Women on a large scale are better than that. We have to make sure we show it more to dispel the foolishness that masquerades itself as truth.
Therefore, ladies, be direct, focused, smart and self-controlled. If a man still doesn't hear you, then he's not only tuned out, he's turned off.
1) Make most of what you have to say substantive. As women, we know we tend to ramble. We will chatter on at length about almost anything. This is not a criticism. Actually, it's a skill. We are witty, intuitive, opinionated, and compassionate. We need all of those qualities in being effective communicators because they help us in our flexibility to communicate a variety of needs for ourselves and as a help to others. As women, we get it. However, if you're male, you may wonder if the woman in front of you is mayor of the Town of Babel. She is all over the topic map, and all you hear is yak, yak, yakkety, yak. So ladies, do this: speak to the specific topic at hand unless you're in a social setting, and even then, you may have to tighten up the idle talk. Stay focused because men don't travel from one topic to another as rapidly as we do. If you move too quickly, you may cause them injury. Give them time to follow you. Make sure you get to the point and be done because they will surely turn off the rambling.
2) Be expressive but not emotional. Say what you mean in as animated a way as you choose, but don't get all screechy or whiny or catty. In other words, express emotion without becoming all emotional. Avoid any loss of self control. Are you raising your voice to some high-pitched decibel that resembles the caw of a crow? Are your words quivering and cracking like your level of confidence is as fragile as an egg shell? Though I don't suggest you try to present yourself as a wall of steel, I do recommend you try to temper your emotions in business settings, during difficult conversations, and in high stakes negotiations. Always come to men from a position of strength with a bit of vulnerability that says you're not trying to emasculate him, but that you command a modicum of respect as well.
3) Show your intelligence. If you are knowledgeable and smart about business, life, and/or your craft, then put it on display. For too long, the wrong qualities in women have been exhibited by unwise females. We've not been taken seriously, and men have overlooked us for opportunities that could contribute to our success, and even to their own with our help. The media has helped perpetuate female stereotypes to the point that most of what our counterparts see is sniping, manipulation and selfishness. Women on a large scale are better than that. We have to make sure we show it more to dispel the foolishness that masquerades itself as truth.
Therefore, ladies, be direct, focused, smart and self-controlled. If a man still doesn't hear you, then he's not only tuned out, he's turned off.
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