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Showing posts from January, 2015

If You've Said This, You Sound Defensive

            "Lillian, you could probably get more cooperation from Janice if you requested her help with this project rather than demanded it," said Gill.       "I don't make demands," Lillian protested quickly.       "Actually, you do," he countered.  "I heard you say to her that she needs to get you the inventory list in the next half hour.  You also said, 'Check your emails for my last update on the client'  instead of speaking to her directly.  For goodness' sake, she works right across the hall from you."       "Well, the only reason I said it like that is because Janice acts like she doesn't understand the urgency in what we're doing.  She's dragging her feet."       "But that doesn't give you the right to be condescending and rude," said Gill.  "She doesn't report to you.  You two are coworkers.  I'm the manager."       "I'm not being r

When People Go Too Far: 3 Ways to Draw the Lines

Your relationship with your significant other, your finances, your personal space—all of these are areas where people who are not welcomed may cross over and offend you. Unfortunately, most people don't know they've crossed the line until after they've done it. Few of us have the luxury of laying out beforehand where the boundaries are, and it's not until someone has breached that boundary that we have to say something. Unfortunate still is that few of us will say anything because we don't know how. It's an uncomfortable conversation to have. Even though we're the ones that have been offended in the matter, we worry about if we will offend the other person by telling them about it. We ask ourselves: Am I being too sensitive? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Am I asking people to be too politically correct? I acquiesce that some of us may be a bit too sensitive about certain situations. We read far too much into the intentio