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Showing posts from October, 2013

"Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness"

The truth is black or white.  There are no gray areas.  It either is or it isn't.  Statements and actions can't be partially true.  Whenever any part of a statement is untrue, that makes the entire statement untrue.  If you're not telling the whole truth, you're lying.  Bottom line.  At least from my window into the world.
     Consider this:  a man with a gambling addiction tells his wife that he's going over to a friend's house to watch the ball game with a bunch of friends.  He does indeed go and watch the game, but at the same time, he indulges in a few hands of Poker and loses a couple hundred dollars.  It is true that he went to a friend's and watched a game.  But the truth falls apart when his real motive is revealed.  His intent was to play Poker; to gamble.  In essence, he lied.  Regardless of the fact that he actually did what he said he was going to do, the motives behind what he was doing were false.  Therefore, his words were too.
     Lea…

How to Say "I Was Wrong" and Remain Strong

"It wasn't me."
     "Nobody told me."
     "That's not my job."
     Personal accountability is as fleeting these days as a Kim Kardashian relationship.  However, it is as necessary as toothpaste and mouthwash--refuse to use it, and you stink!  Unfortunately, there are a lot of us who refuse to own our part in mishaps that are bound to happen.  For whatever reason, we seem to think we must be perfect in all things and so should everyone else.  To make a mistake is to seem flawed.  Well duh.  Aren't we all?  I have not yet met perfection, and I much more prefer those people who drop the ball every now and then.  I would rather associate with a person who has failed and learned from their failures than to be with someone who presents him or herself as never having blown it at all.  Mistakes are our teachable moments.  They show us our vulnerabilities and keep us grounded--at least for those of us who are willing to allow ourselves to be vu…

MEN: How to Listen to a Woman in 4 Easy Ways

So fellas, I know you may feel at times that women are an emotional mess of disjointed thoughts, endless chatter, and crazy impulses.  Some days you have the patience to listen to your wife, mother, boss, girlfriend or some other female in your life, and then there are days that you just don't want to be required to respond to anything she says.  I get it.  So let me help you out.  There are four things you can do right now that will help you in communicating better with females, and it all involves listening.
     1)  Don't try to fix everything she brings to you.  Yes, she wants to come to you and complain about issues at work or in the family, but her intentions are not always to have you throw out some hard-nosed solution.  Sure it may make perfect sense to you to tell your wife that she needs to tell her sister she doesn't have the sense the Lord gave a turnip and that's why men use her, but don't say it.  Women aren't always coming to men for solutio…

WOMEN: Do These 3 Things to Get a Male to Listen

It's no secret that most women feel men don't listen to them.  This belief  is especially prevalent in marriages.  Not surprisingly, men agree.  They don't listen to women that much.  A husband may tell his wife, "Yeah, I'm listening."  But as soon as she says what we all say ("Then what did I say?"), he tells her what he thinks she may have sort of kind of said if he were really tuning in.  Well ladies, there is an art to getting a man to give his full attention to you when you are speaking, and it doesn't involve talking about sports, money or sex.  Most men will try hard to listen if you do the following three things:
     1)  Make most of what you have to say substantive.  As women, we know we tend to ramble.  We will chatter on at length about almost anything.  This is not a criticism.  Actually, it's a skill.  We are witty, intuitive, opinionated, and compassionate.  We need all of those qualities in being effective communicators …