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MEN: How to Listen to a Woman in 4 Easy Ways

     So fellas, I know you may feel at times that women are an emotional mess of disjointed thoughts, endless chatter, and crazy impulses.  Some days you have the patience to listen to your wife, mother, boss, girlfriend or some other female in your life, and then there are days that you just don't want to be required to respond to anything she says.  I get it.  So let me help you out.  There are four things you can do right now that will help you in communicating better with females, and it all involves listening.
     1)  Don't try to fix everything she brings to you.  Yes, she wants to come to you and complain about issues at work or in the family, but her intentions are not always to have you throw out some hard-nosed solution.  Sure it may make perfect sense to you to tell your wife that she needs to tell her sister she doesn't have the sense the Lord gave a turnip and that's why men use her, but don't say it.  Women aren't always coming to men for solutions or their opinions.  Sometimes we just want a sounding board.  You'd do well to just sit and listen, nod a few times, throw in a "you're absolutely right" or "what would you like to see happen", and the conversation will go much better.  CAVEAT:  Be careful not to be patronizing.  Most of us are pretty smart, and we'll know immediately if you're just pacifying us!
     2)  Listen with your eyes.  When she is talking to you, don't look distracted. Give her your full attention.  Let her know you're interested in what she has to say even if you're not.  What you're saying to her is that she's important even though you feel what she's saying is not.  By showing her that you are willing to hear what she has to say, you're also saying you value her input, she matters and so do her comments.  The benefit to you is that depending on the setting (work or home), she may finish talking sooner because now she feels heard.  And if you've got a bright lady in front of you, it would do you well to pay close attention.
     3)  Don't interrupt her when emotions are high.  Let her get her feelings out in the open because women are at the very core sensitive beings.  We were created to be nurturing, compassionate, and emotional so that we can be mothers to offspring who in turn will possess some of those same qualities.  That's how we continue the pipeline of love in the world.  I get it that not every woman is a mother and not every mother is nurturing and loving.  But the majority of women yield to their special design, and they put more compassion out in the world than what's withheld.  And we do live in a world that's lacking compassion and sensitivity these days.  With that in mind, if she is upset, interrupting her will only worsen the situation.  Cutting her off will only make her repeat herself or start from the beginning again.  You want to end this thing if you want to act like a leader (even if she's the boss).  So let her speak.
     4)  Don't ask her to repeat herself over and over again.  This point complements point number two.  Showing a female that you're listening is one thing, but ACTUALLY listening is quite another.  By tuning in to what she has to say, you prevent that awkward moment of having to ask her the same thing she's already explained to you at length when you weren't listening.  Sure, you caught a word here and there to give the impression that you were tracking along.  But the minute you come back and ask something that she's explained before (and she knows exactly what she said to you and when), then she now knows you weren't listening.  That bumps you back to point three, and trust me, you don't wanna go there!


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