"It wasn't me."
"Nobody told me."
"That's not my job."
Personal accountability is as fleeting these days as a Kim Kardashian relationship. However, it is as necessary as toothpaste and mouthwash--refuse to use it, and you stink! Unfortunately, there are a lot of us who refuse to own our part in mishaps that are bound to happen. For whatever reason, we seem to think we must be perfect in all things and so should everyone else. To make a mistake is to seem flawed. Well duh. Aren't we all? I have not yet met perfection, and I much more prefer those people who drop the ball every now and then. I would rather associate with a person who has failed and learned from their failures than to be with someone who presents him or herself as never having blown it at all. Mistakes are our teachable moments. They show us our vulnerabilities and keep us grounded--at least for those of us who are willing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Those who have not learned that it's okay to blow it every now and again, are not inclined to admit their mistakes. They deny, justify, and excuse their behavior.
Admitting our mistakes is difficult at best. It says we've failed. It says we fell short, and few of us want to admit that we don't always get it right even though we say the words. "Nobody's perfect!" we yell, but we treat ourselves and everybody else like they ought to be. We criticize and ridicule when people get caught or get caught up, and that's why many are reluctant to admit when they are wrong. I've seen two erroneous reactions to failing.
1) The attitude that only other people fail. We stand around and tsk, tsk at them for not living up to our standards. We act as if we'd never do anything as careless as the people we whisper and gossip about. Then when we do, we don't hold ourselves accountable. We find every way to duck our responsibility for our part in what broke down. Somehow, people have come to think it makes us weak to say we didn't do something right. What we don't realize is it takes a strong man or woman to say those three little words that make us human: "I was wrong." To refuse to admit the errors we commit is to be arrogant and egotistical. To be either means you are destined to repeat your mistakes.
2) The attitude that you are an utter failure. The person who takes on too much personal accountability is at the other end of the spectrum. They beat themselves up for what they did wrong, and they find it hard to let it go. They are their own worse critic, and they are annoyingly apologetic. They then, indeed, appear to be weak because of their inability to check themselves and move on.
So consider this: You said something that was offensive to someone. You calculated wrong and cost someone a ton of money. You were supposed to follow up on a promise to a customer, and you forgot. You were picked to lead a project, and you are failing miserably at it. Here's what you do right away: 1) admit your error, 2) say you're sorry, and 3) fix it. Afterwards, do these three things: 4) reflect on it, 5) learn from it, and 6) never do it again.
How you overcome adversity is what makes you strong. Choosing not to make excuses but to hold yourself accountable builds your influence in the minds of those who watch you lay down your ego and pick up your reputation to fight another day.
"Nobody told me."
"That's not my job."
Personal accountability is as fleeting these days as a Kim Kardashian relationship. However, it is as necessary as toothpaste and mouthwash--refuse to use it, and you stink! Unfortunately, there are a lot of us who refuse to own our part in mishaps that are bound to happen. For whatever reason, we seem to think we must be perfect in all things and so should everyone else. To make a mistake is to seem flawed. Well duh. Aren't we all? I have not yet met perfection, and I much more prefer those people who drop the ball every now and then. I would rather associate with a person who has failed and learned from their failures than to be with someone who presents him or herself as never having blown it at all. Mistakes are our teachable moments. They show us our vulnerabilities and keep us grounded--at least for those of us who are willing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Those who have not learned that it's okay to blow it every now and again, are not inclined to admit their mistakes. They deny, justify, and excuse their behavior.
Admitting our mistakes is difficult at best. It says we've failed. It says we fell short, and few of us want to admit that we don't always get it right even though we say the words. "Nobody's perfect!" we yell, but we treat ourselves and everybody else like they ought to be. We criticize and ridicule when people get caught or get caught up, and that's why many are reluctant to admit when they are wrong. I've seen two erroneous reactions to failing.
1) The attitude that only other people fail. We stand around and tsk, tsk at them for not living up to our standards. We act as if we'd never do anything as careless as the people we whisper and gossip about. Then when we do, we don't hold ourselves accountable. We find every way to duck our responsibility for our part in what broke down. Somehow, people have come to think it makes us weak to say we didn't do something right. What we don't realize is it takes a strong man or woman to say those three little words that make us human: "I was wrong." To refuse to admit the errors we commit is to be arrogant and egotistical. To be either means you are destined to repeat your mistakes.
2) The attitude that you are an utter failure. The person who takes on too much personal accountability is at the other end of the spectrum. They beat themselves up for what they did wrong, and they find it hard to let it go. They are their own worse critic, and they are annoyingly apologetic. They then, indeed, appear to be weak because of their inability to check themselves and move on.
So consider this: You said something that was offensive to someone. You calculated wrong and cost someone a ton of money. You were supposed to follow up on a promise to a customer, and you forgot. You were picked to lead a project, and you are failing miserably at it. Here's what you do right away: 1) admit your error, 2) say you're sorry, and 3) fix it. Afterwards, do these three things: 4) reflect on it, 5) learn from it, and 6) never do it again.
How you overcome adversity is what makes you strong. Choosing not to make excuses but to hold yourself accountable builds your influence in the minds of those who watch you lay down your ego and pick up your reputation to fight another day.
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