Talk Ain't Cheap

       Choosing to listen while in a conversation is not a passive effort.  Making the choice is an action that is thoughtful and vital to the life of that communication.  To listen well requires concentration.  It requires tuning in and removing distractions that compete for the listener's attention.  As much as we know this, it is difficult to do.  Many of the distractions that cause us to tune in and out several times in a given conversation come from within our own minds.  We have this constant murmur of chatter going on underneath the discussion in which we're engaged.  While someone is speaking, we're responding to their comments silently; formulating opinions in our minds that we can't wait to share.  We're not totally listening; we're just waiting to reply.  Even worse, in some cases, we're not even permitting the speaker to finish their thought.  We interrupt with our often not-so-well-thought-out opinio...

    So Cam Newton had a bad day Sunday.  It happens.  But his bad day has turned into a bad week because of his actions at a press conference following his loss in Super Bowl 50.  It's been controversial, to say the least, since there are people who empathize with the MVP's behavior after a tough and painful defeat and others who think he behaved badly after walking off in the middle of a press conference .  Regardless of what side you're on, there are lessons to be learned in communicating when under duress.  Cam can learn them and so can the rest of us.  If I had to coach him in how to handle those difficult moments, I'd recommend the following:      1)  Slow down.  Take a deep breath and then express your emotions honestly.  No doubt about it, Cam came into the Super Bowl feeling confident he and the Panthers would go home with the trophy.  He was absolutely right in thinking that way.  Afte...

     Good leaders recognize the importance of making sure they create other good leaders.  Rather than feel insecure that someone else can do as good a job as they do, thus risking their position to that individual, good leaders know that they should create a succession plan for the company.  They should identify those who have an interest and the strengths necessary to be good leaders.  Then the leader needs to transform into a coach, and help those emerging leaders learn the fine skills that will help them to one day be good leaders for someone else.  Leaders who feel threatened generally feel that way because they don't have the confidence that they're doing a good enough job.      Being a coach on the job is hard work just like any other coaching gig.  But much like any other coaching gig, it is necessary.  If you're in a leadership position, it is your duty by definition of the job to lead your people to ...

          I was traveling over spring break with my family by car.  I was the driver.  I try to be very careful on the road because I know it can be deadly out there.  Consequently, I don't use my side mirrors much because I don't believe they give the full view of what's around me.  I often physically turn my head and body before I switch lanes.  This action is recommended by public safety officials because of the potential for vehicular accidents due to those pesky "blind spots".  However, regardless of my efforts to be safe on this particular trip, I still managed to cut in front of another driver without seeing him.  It was absolutely frightening after I realized he was back there.  I saw him in my rear view mirror riding extremely close on my tail.  I felt bad and told my husband I was sure the guy was mad at me.     My intention after that was to wait until he passed me and ...