The truth is black or white. There are no gray areas. It either is or it isn't. Statements and actions can't be partially true. Whenever any part of a statement is untrue, that makes the entire statement untrue. If you're not telling the whole truth, you're lying. Bottom line. At least from my window into the world.
Consider this: a man with a gambling addiction tells his wife that he's going over to a friend's house to watch the ball game with a bunch of friends. He does indeed go and watch the game, but at the same time, he indulges in a few hands of Poker and loses a couple hundred dollars. It is true that he went to a friend's and watched a game. But the truth falls apart when his real motive is revealed. His intent was to play Poker; to gamble. In essence, he lied. Regardless of the fact that he actually did what he said he was going to do, the motives behind what he was doing were false. Therefore, his words were too.
Leaving out important information or even nonessential information doesn't make a statement true. Just because it's not said doesn't mean the intent of the behavior is permissible. If a person has to hide what they're doing in order to make an action credible, then that means they already know they're perpetrating fraud. Therefore, modifying the truth to cover wrongdoing is a flat out lie.
Your integrity ought to be one of the most important characteristics that you want out front about you. You should protect it with everything you have. Sometimes a person's word is all that matters. In the past, many a deal was forged based only on a handshake and a promise. A person's reputation and credibility is worth more than money when someone is willing to take a risk based only on what's believed about them. Unfortunately, many of us have lied enough to ourselves such that we believe that we can get away with little things that are meaningless to us. We call them "little white lies". And though they may seem harmless, they can start off as minor and become distorted enough that they take on a life of their own. Before you know it, you don't even recognize the truth anymore.
So why do we do it? Some of us feel that we are protecting other people's feelings by hiding the truth on occasion. Others of us just want to keep the peace so we don't speak the truth for fear of somebody else's wrath. And still there are those who want to make themselves appear grander than they really are. They are putting up a facade to impress people who oftentimes couldn't care less about the things they place a high value on. People lie for a variety of reasons, and they convince themselves that it's okay. Here's the real deal: The reason people lie is because the truth is too hard to deal with. It can be ugly, brutal, and heart-wrenching. People used to say "Give 'em hell, Harry" in reference to Harry S. Truman's direct and no-holds-barred approach in leadership. But Truman said, "I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell!"
Let the bottom line be this: Truth does not need any accoutrements to make it believable. It simply is. Anything added to it changes its properties, and it is no longer truth. It is something else. It is a lie. Make it easier for people to be truthful with you by not becoming angry when it's told to you. You may not like it, and yes, it'll probably hurt. But if you need to hear it, then it's not the other person's doing that needs changing, it's yours. Be truthful with yourself first so others won't have to struggle with how to be truthful with you.
Consider this: a man with a gambling addiction tells his wife that he's going over to a friend's house to watch the ball game with a bunch of friends. He does indeed go and watch the game, but at the same time, he indulges in a few hands of Poker and loses a couple hundred dollars. It is true that he went to a friend's and watched a game. But the truth falls apart when his real motive is revealed. His intent was to play Poker; to gamble. In essence, he lied. Regardless of the fact that he actually did what he said he was going to do, the motives behind what he was doing were false. Therefore, his words were too.
Leaving out important information or even nonessential information doesn't make a statement true. Just because it's not said doesn't mean the intent of the behavior is permissible. If a person has to hide what they're doing in order to make an action credible, then that means they already know they're perpetrating fraud. Therefore, modifying the truth to cover wrongdoing is a flat out lie.
Your integrity ought to be one of the most important characteristics that you want out front about you. You should protect it with everything you have. Sometimes a person's word is all that matters. In the past, many a deal was forged based only on a handshake and a promise. A person's reputation and credibility is worth more than money when someone is willing to take a risk based only on what's believed about them. Unfortunately, many of us have lied enough to ourselves such that we believe that we can get away with little things that are meaningless to us. We call them "little white lies". And though they may seem harmless, they can start off as minor and become distorted enough that they take on a life of their own. Before you know it, you don't even recognize the truth anymore.
So why do we do it? Some of us feel that we are protecting other people's feelings by hiding the truth on occasion. Others of us just want to keep the peace so we don't speak the truth for fear of somebody else's wrath. And still there are those who want to make themselves appear grander than they really are. They are putting up a facade to impress people who oftentimes couldn't care less about the things they place a high value on. People lie for a variety of reasons, and they convince themselves that it's okay. Here's the real deal: The reason people lie is because the truth is too hard to deal with. It can be ugly, brutal, and heart-wrenching. People used to say "Give 'em hell, Harry" in reference to Harry S. Truman's direct and no-holds-barred approach in leadership. But Truman said, "I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell!"
Let the bottom line be this: Truth does not need any accoutrements to make it believable. It simply is. Anything added to it changes its properties, and it is no longer truth. It is something else. It is a lie. Make it easier for people to be truthful with you by not becoming angry when it's told to you. You may not like it, and yes, it'll probably hurt. But if you need to hear it, then it's not the other person's doing that needs changing, it's yours. Be truthful with yourself first so others won't have to struggle with how to be truthful with you.
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