Skip to main content

What It Means to Be C.R.A.S.S.

     You've been around them.  Those people who make off-colored remarks, foul comments, crude statements without care or concern for whom they may be offending.  You know--generally acting like the last three letters in the word crass.  Which is how they are behaving.  Most think they're being witty.  Others are trying to get a rise out of those around them.  The immature think it makes them look bigger, badder, superior in some way to denigrate somebody else.  Men might refer to a woman's most intimate parts in mixed company to disrespect, intimidate or demean women.  Women might do the same thing for the same reasons except they are targeting one female in particular.  Or maybe they're just stupid and don't know it.  Whatever the motivation, being crass in communication doesn't work for anybody.  It serves absolutely no purpose other than to make the speaker look foolish.
    So what does it mean to be crass?  I use this acronym:  Communicating Repulsively Amid Sensitive/Sensible Situations.  For example, a sensible situation would be when a female salesperson, after receiving repeated unclear objections from a male prospect on not purchasing her product, finally asks, "After answering all your objections satisfactorily, what exactly do you need from us to get you to say yes?"  His crass response with a big smile:  "You can get on your knees, and b--w me."  Yep, I got that response once.  Or a female rapper--who shall remain nameless--on a major awards show telling male rappers to "d--k up" (whatever that means) in her acceptance speech.  So unnecessary.  So obnoxious.  So crass.
     If this is the way you communicate, then let me be crass--your way is as intelligent as trying to explain that in a "legitimate rape" a woman's body can prevent pregnancy.  Yeah, about that intelligent.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What It Means to Speak Truth to Power

     "Speaking truth to power" has become a common phrase to use when speaking about truth and/or power in a discussion that encourages courageous discourse on controversial matters.  It is an old phrase coined back in the 1950s by the Quakers and is defined as "a non-violent political tactic, employed by dissidents against the received wisdom or propaganda of governments they regard as oppressive, authoritarian or an ideocracy." (Wikipedia)      I've heard it overused in a lot of ways and not with a clear purpose in its meaning within the context of what was being spoken.  We latch onto certain words and phrases as language goes in and out of style on almost a monthly basis.  In this current generation, there seems to be a new word or phrase created daily and then abandoned when they become overused like worn out sneakers from last year's fall collection.  But words have staying power even if you get tired of hearing the...

A Dozen Ways to Tell Your Boss No

     In basically every training class I do on communications, I get people who are reluctant to manage up.  In a few cases, the direct, decisive communicators establish early on in the relationship their boundaries and preferences to their boss.  Those bosses who can respect other people's limits tend to listen without feeling threatened or disrespected.  But generally, workers tend to treat their superiors as demigods and themselves as powerless servants who shouldn't speak up for fear that they'd be punished for having an opinion or for pushing back in areas where they are overwhelmed or uncomfortable.  I get asked, "What do I do when my manager piles all of this work on me, and I can't get it done by his unreasonable deadlines?"  Among other things like how they manage their time, I usually ask if they've had a discussion with their manager about their workload.  The common response:  "Oh noooo, I can't do that.  He's the b...

How to Stop Interruptions in Conversations

     So you're sitting in a meeting, and you begin to answer a question that has been directed toward you by your boss.  You get through about half of your response when a colleague jumps in and offers his take and essentially silences you.  There is evidence that if you are a woman, this will happen to you more often than if you are a man, and it's likely to happen to you by both genders.      Interruptions in communications like this happen all the time whether you're in a group offering your opinion or one-on-one sharing a story.  Regardless of the setting, we all find it annoying and rude.  These disruptions of dialogue hamper thought processes, contribute to misunderstandings, and devalue people's input.  So what do we do when they keep happening to us?  A few worthy suggestions can be found in Kathryn Vasel's article,  "Next time someone interrupts you in a meeting, try this" .      But what...