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Listening Is a Choice

     As a mom of two, I've grown very adept over the years in not listening.  Let's face it.  Most of what kids have to say is not nearly as important as what we need to hear.  As much as we want to be attentive to their every comment, we just can't.  Such is the case for adults as well.  We can't spend inordinate amounts of time listening to other people's comments, opinions, questions, and statements.  We have to find ways to decipher what's important on a whim so we can focus on priorities.  One big problem I experienced with not listening is that I tuned out so often that I tended to overlook the important stuff.  I had to re-program myself to tune back in.  The greatest lesson I learned is that listening is a choice.  I can choose which bits of information are pertinent at the time, which I should shelve for later, and which I can discard because it's useless.
     So--when should we choose to listen?  The short answer is always.  In order to determine what's priority, we must first make the choice to listen to what is being shared.  After only a few seconds, you should be able to determine where to "file" the information.  I've become very skilled at knowing immediately whether the communication flowing my way should give me pause.  I ask myself these three questions:
  1. Is this applicable to me?
  2. Is there a deadline or a tight time frame that requires my attention?
  3. Is the speaker credible and his/her comments/questions substantive?
     Hey, I know the last question seems a bit stuffy or arrogant.  But consider it.  People yak all the time.  Many times we get bogged down by their need to push their agenda or their priorities.  We have to ask ourselves if what they're saying has anything to do with us.  If it really matters in the grand scheme of what we have to get done that day.  You have to question whether the speaker is adding quality information in helping you meet your goals or are they hindering you with extra requests that benefit them only.  Not providing too much of your time and attention to these people will help you to stay focused and on target.  It takes skill to not allow yourself to get sidetracked.  You don't want to seem dismissive or uncaring or even rude.  But the fact is, choosing to listen to shallow conversation is the biggest time waster in most of our lives, and choosing to ignore it should be our top priority.

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