Skip to main content

WTF! The Impact of Profanity in Communications

     You turn on the TV and on your favorite series there's a scene with an actor saying:  "G--d--mit, man have you lost your mind?"  You get in the car with your kids, and a song is playing that references "video h-s" in the lyrics.  You walk into the office, and your co-worker is staring at his computer screen when suddenly he blurts out:  "What the f--k!"  Everywhere you go, you hear it.  We all do.  We all do it.  Whether it's mild profanity or straight up vulgarity, most of America seems to have no qualms about spewing out a few words that would make their mothers blush--unless she's using those very words herself.
     What's the impact of profanity on our communications?  The answer is as wide as the range of profane words that we choose to express ourselves.  They can have no impact at all or they can immensely offend someone.  It depends on the individual, the place, and the circumstance.  If you're amongst friends in a social setting, and you drop a few F-bombs while telling an outrageous story, it may have no impact.  Especially if they use those words as well.  For some people like me, even if I don't use foul language, I don't care.  However, there are others who travel in circles where they rarely hear profanity, and it may stick them like a pin when they finally do.  They are immediately turned off, and they begin to view you differently.  Or if you're at work in a meeting, and a disagreement ensues that results in a nasty verbal exchange peppered with curse words and threats, witnesses to this argument may find both parties unprofessional and lacking self control.  Interestingly enough, as common as coarse language is, few people will address it.  Maybe because it's become so acceptable in our society, we choose to ignore it.  Or we accept people's right to free speech.  But that doesn't necessarily mean people approve. 
     One reason we may be reticent to make complaints about cursing is because all of us do it at some point.  It might not be a part of our regular conversation, but when we become reactionary to some offense, we might let an expletive loose.  Think about it:  the person who cut you off on the interstate, an irritating boss who embarrasses you at work, the discovery of a betrayal by one that is close to you.  Any of those situations might send you shouting, "A-hole!"  I don't advocate foul language, but I can understand your reaction.  In that circumstance, it is just that--a reaction.  But in every day conversation, do we really have to talk BS about SOBs who p-ss us off with their f---ed up choices?  The challenge becomes in how we exchange that interaction for something less egregious because there's nothing more it could actually become except offensive.
     At last count, I read that the English dictionary has over a million words in it.  Surely with that many options, we can find a better way to express ourselves.  Too often in our conversations, we opt for the same eight or ten profane words to say how we feel.  But anything we can say with curse words, I believe we can say without.  Probably even better if we choose to expand our vocabularies.
     The long and short of it boils down to respect.  First, do you respect yourself enough to clean up your language?  Others will judge you based on what you say.  At work, it detracts from your professionalism.  Outside of work, it detracts from your dignity and intelligence.  Secondly, do you respect others enough to clean up your language?  Consider people who just don't want to hear filthy language.  Must they be subject to yours?  Moreover, consider children and young people, older and elder people, group settings and those who you don't hear using profanity.  Think it through and choose a better way to express yourself.  It is a matter of self control and self respect.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Your "Jokes" Get You in Trouble

         Everybody loves a good laugh. We feel better when we hear something funny and our anxiety or pain is eased because humor has come as a balm in a tense day. Laughter is beneficial to our emotional and physical health. Well-placed humor works easily in a lot of ways when we are telling stories, but can also come at a huge cost. If we joke about a topic that is sensitive to many, and we do it in a public forum where our intent can be misconstrued by the audience, then we can create a firestorm of frustration for ourselves and them.      A recent example of a humor faux pas involves rapper T.I. and his comments regarding how he checks for his daughter's virginity.  He claimed in a podcast that when his 18-year-old daughter goes to the gynecologist, he tells the doctor to check her hymen to make sure it's still intact--an indication that she is still a virgin. Though this is not an accurate test of virginity, T.I. says...

How to Talk About Race: A Panel Discussion

How to Stop Interruptions in Conversations

     So you're sitting in a meeting, and you begin to answer a question that has been directed toward you by your boss.  You get through about half of your response when a colleague jumps in and offers his take and essentially silences you.  There is evidence that if you are a woman, this will happen to you more often than if you are a man, and it's likely to happen to you by both genders.      Interruptions in communications like this happen all the time whether you're in a group offering your opinion or one-on-one sharing a story.  Regardless of the setting, we all find it annoying and rude.  These disruptions of dialogue hamper thought processes, contribute to misunderstandings, and devalue people's input.  So what do we do when they keep happening to us?  A few worthy suggestions can be found in Kathryn Vasel's article,  "Next time someone interrupts you in a meeting, try this" .      But what...