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When Words Are Wasted on Excuses

     Recently, I experienced slack customer service from a company with which I'd just started doing business.  I'd been asked to do an event with them.  I was supposed to provide the training, and they were in charge of marketing.  They dropped the ball on the marketing so registration was slow.  They decided to cancel without consulting me.  After a series of missteps following that poor decision, I was left frustrated and determined I wouldn't be working with them again.  I expressed my concerns to the contact person, and the response came via an email--a long one, packed with excuses.  There was something about a mishap with the phone system, a failed attempt at reaching me by phone earlier in the week (I found no evidence of this), and other commitments that got in the way of her following up.  None of these were of concern to me, of course.  They were not my problems.  Most customers feel that way.  They don't want to hear why things went wrong on the vendor's end.  They just want the matter resolved.  No excuses.
     Words matter.  They can cheapen what's valuable.  Anytime we make excuses, we are justifying our failures.  We are not taking ownership for our mistakes, and we are shifting blame.  Excuses are useless in life.  Valid reasons for something that happened are all that are necessary.  When you can give an honest account of what and why a situation occurred with or without apology, then there is no room for excuses.  Your words should be strong and confident.  If you're late, don't make excuses.  If you forgot an important date, don't make excuses.  If you say something that offends someone, don't make excuses.  Instead, apologize.  Plain and simple.  You blew it.  Apologize and leave it at that unless the other person demands to know why.  They deserve as much.  So an exchange could go something like this:
     Husband:  Did you give my mom the money like I asked?
     Wife:  No, I apologize.  I didn't get a chance.
     Husband:  You didn't get a chance?  I asked you to do that a week ago?  She's been waiting!
     Wife:  I'm sure, and I'll get it to her today.  I'll make sure I offer her my apologies as well.  I dropped the ball on this one.  I'm sorry if it caused her some problems.  I'll take care of it.
     The end.  Unless the other person persists, then the conversation should be over.  If they do, such as:
     Husband:  Never mind.  I'll do it myself.  But why didn't you?
     Wife:  Well, my plate's been full.  The kids have had at least three school events this week.  I had two tight deadlines at work.  And don't forget having to bail you out of that commitment at the church.   Sorry, but I just couldn't do it all.
     Those are not a bunch of excuses.  They are valid reasons in response to a question.  I didn't need a bunch of excuses from the company that bungled the situation with me.  I didn't care why things didn't happen, I just know they impacted me negatively.  Making a bunch of excuses can make a person look lame in the eyes of the person who is holding them responsible.  Sending them in a long email made her look even lamer.  Teachable moment:  never send a frustrated customer an email with excuses and a superficial apology.  Pick up the phone, and talk to them in person with an apology and a plan to make things right.
     So no more excuses.  Own it.  Fix it.  Apologize.  Move on.

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