When Comments Are Insensitive

    In light of the recent verdict in the Zimmerman trial, there were many comments exchanged via social media, mainstream media, phone conversations, church sermons, text messages, and face to face.  Since most of these discussions were held in a public forum--especially social media--there was ample opportunity to involve a diverse group of people in offering an array of viewpoints.  I think it's great when people are able to express themselves.  There should always be a forum for healthy discussions about difficult topics.  As long as the lines of communication are open, we can learn from each other.  However, when the topic is volatile and highly sensitive, contributors to the dialogue have to be especially careful that their viewpoint is not misconstrued because of a lack of skill in being able to walk the tightrope of sensitivity.  It takes a little more thought and effort, but the conversation can be meaningful if all views are accepted and respected even if there is no agreement in perspectives.
     I was glad to be able to spark a discussion and get a variety of responses.  Not everyone agreed with my opinion, and that was okay.  I didn't expect them to nor do I want other people to always pacify me by being agreeable.  The beauty of living in this country is that we get the chance to express how we feel through freedom of speech.  As long as that speech isn't hateful or insensitive, everyone can participate without backlash.  Since I train in diversity management, and  a large part of what I teach on that topic is meaningful dialogue, the Zimmerman trial has provided an ideal teachable moment.  Therefore, I'd like to offer these three points when engaging in discussion on highly volatile subjects:

1. Realize that people who have an opposing view may have a larger, deeper perspective of the situation than you do. You may feel that they are being overly sensitive or that you're being forced to be too politically correct to state your case. But you may not know that person's full story or their personal experiences with the situation. So rather than judge their comments against your own, try to understand why they feel as they do. You might be surprised to learn that there's a story there filled with pain and goes far beyond a mere opinion.
2. Refrain from joking about tragic events so close to the time of the occurrence.  Everybody loves a good laugh especially when times are tough. Too many traumatic experiences can cause life to become dark and depressing. We try to find ways to lighten the mood, but those efforts can be insensitive if the pain is still fresh and emotions are still raw.  The prank on the local TV news station regarding the names of the pilots in the fallen Asiana Airlines flight may have been funny at a later time.  But so soon after people have perished and while others are nursing injuries and even still in the hospital makes an otherwise harmless prank fall flat.  Be sensitive to death and the grief of losing loved ones before you try to make light of a situation.
3. Respect other people's opinions. We're all entitled to ours. Ridiculing, belittling, disregarding how other people feel about an issue is not healthy debate.  It's an arrogant stance on one's own views--as if yours is on the only one that matters.  This is more than insensitivity to the topic but insensitivity toward another human being.  People matter.

As a disclaimer, these points are not directed at anyone who participated in my debate.  The volley of conversation on my Facebook page opened the door for me to demonstrate how it's done.  There is no need for hostility.  Emotion, yes.  Passion, certainly.  But bitterness, never.  I believe that if we all keep the three important points above in mind, then we can continue to grow and learn from others.  We can maintain our freedom to express our views.  And we can still keep healthy, wonderful relationships with other people regardless of the differences in our opinions.  Continue to express yourself.