Skip to main content

Self Talk That Leads to Big Rewards

    Okay, so I'm not here to pump you up today about speaking positive things into your life.  You've heard all of that before.  As real as it is, and as much sense as it makes, sometimes we can be as positive in our minds as we choose, but life still stinks.  We can keep saying that all will be well when we know deep down it won't.  So we're essentially trying to fake ourselves out--to believe something that is unrealistic.  Having said that, let me not become the new host of your pity party.  But let's keep it real.
    In order for things to happen in our lives, we do have to tell ourselves a different story.  It doesn't have to be a fairy tale as we often choose to do.  It should be a story that reflects the reality of our present and the hope for our future.  Lest we spend too much time on our present situation and make ourselves depressed, we should remind ourselves of those times when we passed this way before and we overcame.  Too often we act like our trials are new.  More often than not, they're not.  It stunk then and it stinks now.  But what got you there?  What stories did you tell yourself that landed you back in the same spot?  "Oh, it'll be alright.  I didn't take control last time, and that's why it got out of hand.  But I won't let that happen this time."  Or "If everything else falls into place, then it won't be bad like it was last time."  Unless some unforeseen and uncontrollable tragedy strikes, you will likely face similar circumstances throughout your life if you're blessed to have a long one.  The goal is to learn from the first time so that when you see it coming again, you are wise enough to avert imminent disaster.
    The conversation you have with yourself is important.  It should not be some superficial, cursory consideration of an event.  But it should be well thought out and meaningful with actions that support your growth.  Say to yourself, "The parts of this I can control, I will."  Say to yourself, "I should not fall short this time because I know better.  And when I know better, I can do better."  Say to yourself, "I will take wise risks--risks I can afford to take.  I know that big risks yield big rewards.  But I will not jeopardize my peace because of bad decision making."
    Be conscious of your talks with yourself.  Don't excuse, belittle or doubt yourself.  Be strong.  Be courageous.  Be faithful.  And more than anything, be positive.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What It Means to Speak Truth to Power

     "Speaking truth to power" has become a common phrase to use when speaking about truth and/or power in a discussion that encourages courageous discourse on controversial matters.  It is an old phrase coined back in the 1950s by the Quakers and is defined as "a non-violent political tactic, employed by dissidents against the received wisdom or propaganda of governments they regard as oppressive, authoritarian or an ideocracy." (Wikipedia)      I've heard it overused in a lot of ways and not with a clear purpose in its meaning within the context of what was being spoken.  We latch onto certain words and phrases as language goes in and out of style on almost a monthly basis.  In this current generation, there seems to be a new word or phrase created daily and then abandoned when they become overused like worn out sneakers from last year's fall collection.  But words have staying power even if you get tired of hearing the...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Dozen Ways to Tell Your Boss No

     In basically every training class I do on communications, I get people who are reluctant to manage up.  In a few cases, the direct, decisive communicators establish early on in the relationship their boundaries and preferences to their boss.  Those bosses who can respect other people's limits tend to listen without feeling threatened or disrespected.  But generally, workers tend to treat their superiors as demigods and themselves as powerless servants who shouldn't speak up for fear that they'd be punished for having an opinion or for pushing back in areas where they are overwhelmed or uncomfortable.  I get asked, "What do I do when my manager piles all of this work on me, and I can't get it done by his unreasonable deadlines?"  Among other things like how they manage their time, I usually ask if they've had a discussion with their manager about their workload.  The common response:  "Oh noooo, I can't do that.  He's the b...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Stop Interruptions in Conversations

     So you're sitting in a meeting, and you begin to answer a question that has been directed toward you by your boss.  You get through about half of your response when a colleague jumps in and offers his take and essentially silences you.  There is evidence that if you are a woman, this will happen to you more often than if you are a man, and it's likely to happen to you by both genders.      Interruptions in communications like this happen all the time whether you're in a group offering your opinion or one-on-one sharing a story.  Regardless of the setting, we all find it annoying and rude.  These disruptions of dialogue hamper thought processes, contribute to misunderstandings, and devalue people's input.  So what do we do when they keep happening to us?  A few worthy suggestions can be found in Kathryn Vasel's article,  "Next time someone interrupts you in a meeting, try this" .      But what...
1 comment
Read more