Whether you're in front of a large crowd as a presenter, a small group in a staff meeting at work, or one on one with an acquaintance, what you say shapes how they view you. Here are a few pitfalls. If your story, presentation or conversation has no meat, no real substance most of the time, you will be viewed as superficial. They'll think, Well here comes this dude. I'd better get ready to hear a whole bunch about nothing. If your train of thought is akin to getting lost in the woods with no compass, then others will think, Do I really have enough time to listen to this woman shift her focus ten times before she gets to her point? If your word choices are inaccurate and misplaced, people may think you lack a certain level of competence, intelligence, and/or credibility. You may not. But you certainly come across that way. If it's not reflective of who you really are, then you have to represent yourself differently. So how do you present yourself as a smart speaker? There are a number of ways, but I'll share three:
First, think ahead and speak after. For those whose speaking style--and it is a style--is to be thoughtful about an issue, they tend to speak while they are thinking. So what comes out sometimes is a long, meandering answer or reflection of an idea. Meanwhile, the listener is groaning inside because they just want the speaker to get to the point. On the speedway of life where most of us travel, we just won't give them the time they would like in order to formulate their ideas fully. If this is you, try this: to keep a person's interest, and to present yourself as knowledgeable about your topic, think first before you speak. Collect your thoughts, and then share them once they're all together and are coherent. That's why writing your speech first and practicing it is an excellent idea. Or if you're asked a question that would require some thought, let the person know by saying, "I need to think that over. Let me get back to you on it."
Second, have something current, relevant, valuable, and meaningful to say more often than not. We all engage in casual conversation and even useless banter regularly. And that's okay, especially when there's time to chill. Discussion about TV shows, movies, books, music, family, vacations, dating, etc. are all absolutely fine when the time is right. But that kind of conversation all the time detracts from your depth as an individual (unless shallow is your goal). Find times when you can discuss pertinent current events. Have a well thought-out opinion on controversial topics. Seek to inform based on your area of expertise when the opportunity presents itself. Be a resource. Have something worthwhile to say, and others will want to listen.
Finally, expand your vocabulary. Learn a new word. Pick a new one every week, and find opportunities to use it in your conversations so you can get used to it. Make sure you know the accurate use of the word before you start flinging it around though. There's nothing worse than learning a new word and practicing its use in the wrong way. Read, read, read! Even as adults, we have to challenge ourselves to read works of higher intellect. If you come across a word and you don't know the definition, don't just gloss over it and glean the meaning from the context. Read with a dictionary at hand! There's no shame in not knowing. The shame is in not learning better. Even in your writing, learn the right tense. Learn the difference between "loose" and "lose" and "their" and "they're". These are often misspelled. Know when to use "further" and "farther". Remind yourself when it's appropriate to say "lie", "lay", "laid", and "lain". It's English basics that we may not have mastered in school, but it's never too late to get it correct now. Don't forget the thesaurus either. It will help you to freshen up what you want to say with different words that add color and verve to your discourse.
Show yourself to be a smart speaker, a powerful presenter, and a competent conversationalist. Do the work.
First, think ahead and speak after. For those whose speaking style--and it is a style--is to be thoughtful about an issue, they tend to speak while they are thinking. So what comes out sometimes is a long, meandering answer or reflection of an idea. Meanwhile, the listener is groaning inside because they just want the speaker to get to the point. On the speedway of life where most of us travel, we just won't give them the time they would like in order to formulate their ideas fully. If this is you, try this: to keep a person's interest, and to present yourself as knowledgeable about your topic, think first before you speak. Collect your thoughts, and then share them once they're all together and are coherent. That's why writing your speech first and practicing it is an excellent idea. Or if you're asked a question that would require some thought, let the person know by saying, "I need to think that over. Let me get back to you on it."
Second, have something current, relevant, valuable, and meaningful to say more often than not. We all engage in casual conversation and even useless banter regularly. And that's okay, especially when there's time to chill. Discussion about TV shows, movies, books, music, family, vacations, dating, etc. are all absolutely fine when the time is right. But that kind of conversation all the time detracts from your depth as an individual (unless shallow is your goal). Find times when you can discuss pertinent current events. Have a well thought-out opinion on controversial topics. Seek to inform based on your area of expertise when the opportunity presents itself. Be a resource. Have something worthwhile to say, and others will want to listen.
Finally, expand your vocabulary. Learn a new word. Pick a new one every week, and find opportunities to use it in your conversations so you can get used to it. Make sure you know the accurate use of the word before you start flinging it around though. There's nothing worse than learning a new word and practicing its use in the wrong way. Read, read, read! Even as adults, we have to challenge ourselves to read works of higher intellect. If you come across a word and you don't know the definition, don't just gloss over it and glean the meaning from the context. Read with a dictionary at hand! There's no shame in not knowing. The shame is in not learning better. Even in your writing, learn the right tense. Learn the difference between "loose" and "lose" and "their" and "they're". These are often misspelled. Know when to use "further" and "farther". Remind yourself when it's appropriate to say "lie", "lay", "laid", and "lain". It's English basics that we may not have mastered in school, but it's never too late to get it correct now. Don't forget the thesaurus either. It will help you to freshen up what you want to say with different words that add color and verve to your discourse.
Show yourself to be a smart speaker, a powerful presenter, and a competent conversationalist. Do the work.
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