A Dozen Ways to Tell Your Boss No

     In basically every training class I do on communications, I get people who are reluctant to manage up.  In a few cases, the direct, decisive communicators establish early on in the relationship their boundaries and preferences to their boss.  Those bosses who can respect other people's limits tend to listen without feeling threatened or disrespected.  But generally, workers tend to treat their superiors as demigods and themselves as powerless servants who shouldn't speak up for fear that they'd be punished for having an opinion or for pushing back in areas where they are overwhelmed or uncomfortable.  I get asked, "What do I do when my manager piles all of this work on me, and I can't get it done by his unreasonable deadlines?"  Among other things like how they manage their time, I usually ask if they've had a discussion with their manager about their workload.  The common response:  "Oh noooo, I can't do that.  He's the boss.  You don't tell him anything."  Or "I've tried to tell her, but she couldn't care less."
     For those of you who are struggling with just the right words to convey to your manager about how you feel, here are a few suggestions:

1. The quality of my work suffers when I'm trying to do too many things at once.  I'd like to finish the other three projects you've given me first before I take on any new ones.
2. I appreciate the confidence you have in me to carry such a heavy load, but I'm currently at a tipping point.  
3. I know someone else who is better qualified to do this.
4. I'd be happy to help you with that if you don't need it for about three months.  I should be done with the other twelve projects by then.
5. I could add it to my list, but it'll be task number 25 right now.
6. Who would be your second choice to do this?  I wouldn't be offended if you made them your first.
7. I can successfully juggle four major projects at once.  This would be number five.
8. Taking on another task would require more attention and energy than I have available to give.
9. The last time I over committed myself, it was a disaster.  I've learned to take on only what I can handle without compromising the quality a project/task like this deserves.
10. For the sake of efficiency, I don't think I could complete the project in a timely manner.
11. Regrettably, I am unable to take on anymore tasks that aren't priority.
12. I'm sorry but I'm unable to do it at this time.  May I recommend...?

Notice you didn't say no directly in any of these.  It's all semantics.  It's all in how you communicate a negative response.  Without saying no, you essentially refused a request.  You may feel uncomfortable at first taking such a bold step, but you may find that with the right tone and context, you can say no to your boss.  Try these at your own risk, but the flip side to not saying anything is that you will ultimately turn out mediocre work, miss deadlines, and tarnish your reputation because you didn't set boundaries.  You can say no.