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Your First Name is Not "Miss"

     Last week I trained front office professionals in a school district on, what else--front office professionalism.  They were a dynamic group of women who have tough jobs dealing with--among many things--angry, unyielding, and in some cases, scheming parents.  Being a parent of school-age kids myself, I'm not talking about the rest of us who go to schools willing to help and to be cooperative.  I'm talking about the ones who aren't.  The front office staff have to be master multi-taskers it seems in an effort to keep everything rolling at once.  Talking to people who walk through the front door, directing children back to class, finding paperwork, making announcements, and answering the phones have to be done all in a matter of minutes.  One of the discussion points in our training involved answering the phone.  The interim superintendent was adamant about this one pet peeve of his, and I think it's worth addressing.
     He doesn't want the office staff to use titles before their names when answering the phone.  He has a PhD, but he'd prefer not to use Dr. to introduce himself.  He finds it somewhat pretentious and unprofessional.  I agree.  Many of you may not, but etiquette suggests that you leave it up to others to call you by your title.  You don't--dare I say--arrogantly give it to yourself during introductions.  Consider this phone conversation:
     "Good morning.  Ultra-Fantastic Elementary School.  This is Miss Jones.  How can I help you?"
     So what "Miss Jones" has said to the caller is that you must call me "Miss Jones".  She hasn't given the caller the option to call her anything but that because she hasn't given her full name.  It's almost as if her first name is "Miss".  The appropriate way is to give your full name and allow people to choose to call you by either or give only your first name if you're not stuck on having someone address you with a title.  It would sound like this:
     "Good morning.  Ultra-Fantastic Elementary School.  This is Melanie Jones.  How can I help you?"
     "Good morning, Miss Jones.  This is Miss Smith, Tracy Smith's mother."
     If Miss Smith wants to be formal, then she should be allowed to be formal.  The front office staff should always address the caller as Miss, Mrs., Mr. or Dr. unless the individual gives them permission to be informal with them and use their first name only.
     Here's one reason why this is important:  It would be very awkward if the front office person is 30 years old, and the caller is age 55.  No 30-year-old should be requiring a person 15 years her senior to call her "Miss".  Likewise, someone my age should not require me to call her "Miss".  We are contemporaries.  You are not my elder so the respect of age is not built-in.  Where the staff member is older, say 60ish and the caller is 30, the caller should be keen enough to hear the maturity in the staff member's voice and know not to address her by her first name.  Thus, a young parent should not call an obviously older staff member by her first name even if given the option.  Some of this is common sense, even though the caveat here is that it's not always easy to detect a person's age over the phone.  Therefore, the default response for the person calling in if they're not sure of the age is to always address the staff person with a title.  For clarity, it's only when you're not sure of a person's age when you're calling in, default to using a title.  For the front office person, always give your full name so that you give all callers the option to choose.  The worse that can happen in any of this is that you get called by your actual name.
    

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