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"I Don't Know What You Just Said"

     I had the opportunity this weekend to watch a movie called "The Dilemma" with Vince Vaughn and Kevin James.  It was an entertaining way to tackle the topics of honesty, fidelity and friendship when all of those have been compromised.  One scene in particular that caught my attention involved Vince and Kevin's characters engaging in a very confusing conversation.  Since communications training is what I do and effective communications is what this blog is all about, I couldn't resist bringing to your attention what a lack of clarity in communications looks like.  If you get the chance to watch the movie (you can online), pay close attention to when Kevin's character Nick tries to explain to Vince's character Ronny, some hypothetical situation about overcoming Ronny's fear of getting married.  It had something to do with ice cream, running over citizens on a sidewalk, and one percent.  Ronny's response after a perplexed look:  "I don't think I'm understanding what you're trying to say to me."  Ever felt that way?  Somebody's just shared some long scenario about what you think you were discussing with them, and you don't have a clue what they just said.
     Without clarity in communications, you completely miss your mark with the listener.  Imagine if the listener is a key person in referring you to a new client, closing a deal you've been working on for a while or deciding to hire you.  You may have just blown your chance at getting what you want.  So how do you speak with clarity?  How do you offer clear communications that leave no room for speculation or confusion?  Try these three things:
  1. If the topic is important or sensitive or urgent, make sure you plan what you will say first.  If you have to write it down, do so.  Practice it out loud.  Make note of how it sounds in your ears.  Would you be able to understand your point.  Is it clear?
  2. Get to the point.  Sometimes too much insignificant detail is added to an explanation, and the real message gets lost in all the minutiae.  Be direct and share information that adds to the clarity of the communication.
  3. Provide enough detail.  I know I just said get to the point and leave out the extraneous stuff, but in getting to the point, don't be so laser-like that you leave out important details.  Sometimes we think that in the course of our communications, we are telling the listener what we're thinking.  However, on many occasions, we may be saying it in our heads, but it's not coming out of our mouths.  Make sure the two coincide so that what you're thinking (that matters to the conversation) is actually being verbalized, and all of the dots are connected.
     With these three simple points, you can make your communications clearer and leave little room for miscommunication and misunderstanding.  Remember ABC: Always. Be. Clear.

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