Marcia
sat and reflected intently on her direct reports’ assessments of her leadership
performance. She’d taken the unusual and
risky step of giving her team permission to provide feedback to her about her
management style. She promised them no
repercussions for their honesty, and she assured them if there was consensus on
any behavioral issue, she would consider making changes. Initially, her team was reluctant to
share. She found this odd since she
thought she’d created a culture of transparency and candidness. Eventually five of the eight came forward and
shared their observations. Much to her
surprise, she heard words like “overbearing”, “pushy”, “blunt”, and
“demanding”. They said everything but
“micromanager”, she thought, which she realized had been thinly veiled by the
other words they’d used.
Marcia was dismayed. She hadn’t realized she was perceived negatively
by her team. Sure, she could be a bit
demanding at times, she thought. But she
had high standards, and she assumed they’d want to hold themselves to the same
quality expectations. She found the
assessments to be a bit harsh, and they certainly stung when she heard
them. Her first impulse was to become
angry and retaliatory. But then she
remembered a recommendation that a friend made once when it came to responding
in tense situations—T.H.I.N.K. first.
The acronym offered ideal guidance
on any behavior that might prompt a defensive response as a result of receiving
negative feedback. Though hearing
comments that are less than glowing can be painful, Marcia realized it would be
unfair of her to invite people to speak openly, and then penalize them for
doing what she’d asked. She swallowed
her pride, steeled herself against the verbal blows, and decided to
T.H.I.N.K. The concept forced her to ask
valid questions about the feedback. As
she asked and answered them honestly to herself, she felt the sting
lessen. The questions went like this:
·
T=True.
Was what they said True? With five of
the eight making similar comments about her in separate meetings and apart from
each other, she decided they must be true.
Moreover, when she thought about it for a minute, the examples they gave
of her overbearing behavior seemed valid.
·
H=Helpful. Was what they said Helpful? She agreed they were because she now had
valuable feedback that could benefit her in becoming a better leader if she chose
to push vanity aside and recognize her shortcomings.
·
I=Inspiring. Was what they said Inspiring? Yes, she thought, because they encouraged her
to make the necessary changes to improve her leadership style. She planned to step back a bit and give her
team the space to perform without her constant prodding. She would show them that she trusted them to
do their jobs.
·
N=Necessary. Was what they said Necessary? Yes, she believed again, because she was
killing morale around the office, and she needed to know that.
·
K=Kind. Was what they said Kind? Again yes.
No one was rude or malicious in their intent. They responded to her request honestly but
gently. They chose their words
carefully, and as difficult as it was for them, they delivered negative
feedback in the most constructive way they could. With that in mind, Marcia decided to receive
it in the spirit in which it was given.
When Marcia decided to T.H.I.N.K.
first, she tempered her potentially adverse reaction so that the team felt more
comfortable giving her meaningful comments in a difficult conversation. Without realizing it, she was also creating
the environment that she thought she’d already established—one that was open
and honest. Marcia could now excel as a
leader. Next time you’re evaluated,
T.H.I.N.K. first and permit yourself to grow from what you know.
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