Talk Ain't Cheap

    So Cam Newton had a bad day Sunday.  It happens.  But his bad day has turned into a bad week because of his actions at a press conference following his loss in Super Bowl 50.  It's been controversial, to say the least, since there are people who empathize with the MVP's behavior after a tough and painful defeat and others who think he behaved badly after walking off in the middle of a press conference .  Regardless of what side you're on, there are lessons to be learned in communicating when under duress.  Cam can learn them and so can the rest of us.  If I had to coach him in how to handle those difficult moments, I'd recommend the following:      1)  Slow down.  Take a deep breath and then express your emotions honestly.  No doubt about it, Cam came into the Super Bowl feeling confident he and the Panthers would go home with the trophy.  He was absolutely right in thinking that way.  Afte...

                                Generally, we use the term “the ties that bind” to indicate all the special ways we connect with those we love.  Ties are the conditions, actions, and emotions that draw us to them and keep them part of our lives.  Those ties may be kinship, marriage, trust, friendship, support, history.  They get stretched and twisted and ragged, but they don’t often break.  Our bonds are generally strong.            But there’s another side of this term that’s not as appealing, yet it is the reality of life.  It’s when certain ties bind us to the negatives and shortfalls that are sure to come.  We get connected to behaviors that keep us marking time, and we are unable to release ourselves from them.  We are mentally handcuffed.  Mental handcuffs ar...

    An effective method of communication is storytelling.  The stories we tell can evoke emotion in the listener whether good or bad.  Stories connect us to our experiences, fears, opinions, and other people.  I want to tell this story only because it was so vivid, bizarre, and emotionally provocative, that I feel I must share it.  It sounds like a scene from a sci-fi flick.  It is dramatic; it's scary; it seems prophetic.  Maybe you'll see symbolism in it.  Maybe you'll feel inclined to offer an interpretation.  Or maybe it'll just be an interesting story to read.  Regardless, I welcome your feedback.     I was awakened at 5:17 a.m. with my heart pounding from what my mind had just played before me like the latest blockbuster from Steven Spielberg.  The details were still rattling around in my psyche as I lay back to review what I'd just witnessed.   It was disturbing and too real, not at all dream...

     Good leaders recognize the importance of making sure they create other good leaders.  Rather than feel insecure that someone else can do as good a job as they do, thus risking their position to that individual, good leaders know that they should create a succession plan for the company.  They should identify those who have an interest and the strengths necessary to be good leaders.  Then the leader needs to transform into a coach, and help those emerging leaders learn the fine skills that will help them to one day be good leaders for someone else.  Leaders who feel threatened generally feel that way because they don't have the confidence that they're doing a good enough job.      Being a coach on the job is hard work just like any other coaching gig.  But much like any other coaching gig, it is necessary.  If you're in a leadership position, it is your duty by definition of the job to lead your people to ...

It is highly likely that if you voiced your opinion about what occurred between the student at Spring Valley High School in Columbia, SC and the School Resource Officer (SRO) last week, you were met with cheers or jeers.  Those who agreed with your viewpoint did so emphatically because, like you, they were trying to find a supporter in the midst of so much anger and judgment.  Regardless of what side you were on, there was always someone to go against you.  This topic dominated conversations at work and home.  People argued with their co-workers, families, with their friends, and with strangers.  Everyone felt passionately about what they believed, and they would not be swayed. Such is the way we handle controversial topics about which we feel strongly.  A certain matter sparks a deep and tender place in our hearts, and we feel compelled to speak on it.  Nowadays, many take to social media to vent or voice, and they are met with swift acceptance o...