Skip to main content

How to Stop Interruptions in Conversations

     So you're sitting in a meeting, and you begin to answer a question that has been directed toward you by your boss.  You get through about half of your response when a colleague jumps in and offers his take and essentially silences you.  There is evidence that if you are a woman, this will happen to you more often than if you are a man, and it's likely to happen to you by both genders.
     Interruptions in communications like this happen all the time whether you're in a group offering your opinion or one-on-one sharing a story.  Regardless of the setting, we all find it annoying and rude.  These disruptions of dialogue hamper thought processes, contribute to misunderstandings, and devalue people's input.  So what do we do when they keep happening to us?  A few worthy suggestions can be found in Kathryn Vasel's article,  "Next time someone interrupts you in a meeting, try this".


     But what if you're the one doing the interrupting?  I've certainly been guilty of it, and I'm worse on the phone.  Without a face in front of me, I'm not consciously considering all the needs of the other person--like the need to be heard without interference from me.  Therefore, I try hard to turn my unconscious behavior into more considerate actions and tune in to the conversation as an active participant.  There are four other things we interrupters can do to curb our habit of beginning our comments in the middle of someone else's.  We can learn to W.A.I.T.
     1) WRITE our thoughts as we listen so we can bring them up when the other person is finished.
     2) ASK questions to involve the other side in the conversation.
     3) INDICATE our interest by making eye contact when listening intently.
     4) TELL ourselves to wait until the other side has had their say.
     These actions seem simple enough, but they can be hard for people to do when they've developed bad habits of dominating conversations, thinking only of what they want to say next without mindful listening, and getting too excited about their own ideas.
     What do you do to interrupt interruptions?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Talk About Race: A Panel Discussion

When Your "Jokes" Get You in Trouble

         Everybody loves a good laugh. We feel better when we hear something funny and our anxiety or pain is eased because humor has come as a balm in a tense day. Laughter is beneficial to our emotional and physical health. Well-placed humor works easily in a lot of ways when we are telling stories, but can also come at a huge cost. If we joke about a topic that is sensitive to many, and we do it in a public forum where our intent can be misconstrued by the audience, then we can create a firestorm of frustration for ourselves and them.      A recent example of a humor faux pas involves rapper T.I. and his comments regarding how he checks for his daughter's virginity.  He claimed in a podcast that when his 18-year-old daughter goes to the gynecologist, he tells the doctor to check her hymen to make sure it's still intact--an indication that she is still a virgin. Though this is not an accurate test of virginity, T.I. says he told the doctor: "...just check the hymen

What Humility Sounds Like in Leadership

     To be in a position of leadership is usually associated with being in a position of power.  And though the power is real and necessary, it must be balanced with the willingness to respond humbly in situations that warrant it.  It's time we eliminate the misunderstanding that humility is weakness.  In fact, to take a position of humility takes a lot of restraint and sacrifice.  This is difficult for many to do.  Therefore, the weakness comes in yielding to arrogance and dominance because it is easy to do.  The strength is found in backing away from selfish desires and allowing someone else to be successful.      Not sure what humility looks like in leadership?  Consider these examples: The boss who gives credit to his employee for an idea that allowed the entire department to shine. The manager who was clearly wrong when making a decision on a project and admits that mistake when the project fails. The supervisor who yields her opinion to someone else on the team so tha