Talk Ain't Cheap

        Haveyoueverheardsomeonetalksoquicklythatitseemedeverythingtheysaidranalltogetherinonesentence?  Much like that statement, it was hard to listen to what was said.  You could barely follow the path of their conversation because much of what was spoken seemed jumbled and unclear.  For those of us who are fast talkers, having to slow down is as exciting as driving behind someone who's going slow in the fast lane.  We're a a bit annoyed that not everyone can appreciate the speed we do, and we feel that having to put on brakes frequently is like having to drive behind a postal truck.  We're doing a lot of starting and stopping, but we're not necessarily getting anywhere.  Nonetheless, fast talkers must be cognizant that our rate of speech can get in the way of our clarity of speech.  We have to remember that even though the thoughts are coming rapid-fire, we don't have to get them all out in 0-60 seconds.  We...

    Great writing isn't just for the profound thinker or creative author.  Great writing has as much to do with competence in writing and being able to express what you want to say in the written word as it does in how you verbalize your thoughts.  It doesn't require that you have an expansive vocabulary or that you have to be prolific in how many ways you can tell the same story.  Oftentimes, it's just knowing how to make subject and verb agree, using appropriate grammar, and spelling correctly.  People who may not know you well will assume your level of intelligence by how you write if that's all they have to go on.  If you write like a fourth-grader, people will assume you're only as smart as a fourth grader.  To be taken seriously, you must present yourself as one who is knowledgeable.  Making simple mistakes like choosing the wrong version of a word (e.g. "your" instead of "you're" or "their" instead of "they're...

     Strong leaders have a commanding presence because of the way they carry themselves.  They exude confidence in the way they walk, talk, stand, and look.  Everything about them says, "I got this."  They make the people around them feel like they can trust their knowledge and their decisions.  Strong leaders are authoritative and earn the respect of the people who report to them.  They've managed to accomplish this by showing themselves to be reliable and wise.  If you've ever had the opportunity to experience this kind of leader in action especially in a crisis, you may remember yourself feeling a little relieved and a bit more relaxed when they took charge.  It was something about the way they spoke that let you know everything was going to be all right.  What did they do?  Let's explore their speech specifically.      1)  The leader who speaks with authority tends to state facts with accuracy...

     Ever been in a conversation with someone, and they started talking while you were right in the middle of what you were saying?  It was as if you weren't speaking at all.  Or how about when you're speaking to someone and another person walks up and interjects as if they had been invited into your conversation.  We've all been there.  And some of us are guilty of doing the same to others.  For whatever reason, we feel like it's okay to butt-in where we have not been invited.  We don't recognize the rudeness of our interruption, and we take for granted that the person we're speaking to is okay with it.  Well listen up.  It's not okay.      Like so much in life today, we are impatient in our conversations.  It's almost as if we can't control ourselves.  If a thought is on our minds, we have to immediately express it.  Usually without a lot of forethought which gets a lot of people in trou...

     You've likely been in a conversation or at least overheard a conversation where one person talked and talked and talked or continuously interjected their opinion at every breath taken by the other side.  You've probably been in a training class and heard one particular participant constantly have something to say every time the facilitator asked a question or tried to move on with a point in the training.  You found it annoying and no doubt so did the other people around you.  Yet, the individual seems clueless that they are monopolizing the discussion.  Everybody in the room wants to say, "Just shut up already!"      Facilitators like myself have to work harder in these instances to maintain control of the room.  We know that the other participants are looking to us to keep order so that they can get something out of the precious time they're spending in a training class--sometimes classes they've paid for themselve...

     Countless surveys have been done that show teams want leaders who inspire them.  They appreciate working with a manager who motivates them with their own enthusiasm and zest for life.  This is not a skill that's learned very easily if at all.  It's actually a personality trait that a lot of people have naturally, and to act counter to it would be a strain for them.  They love life and have a penchant for seeing experiences in a positive way even if things aren't going well.  Not everyone can do this and come across sincere.  Some people have to work at it.  On the contrary, as much as the optimistic person does not have to work hard at being excited about life, the pessimist does not have to work hard at seeing the hardships of life--and living in them.      Pessimists see optimists sometimes as phonies.  They don't believe anyone can be that enthusiastic all the time and be sincere.  They believe...

                Empathy is a little practiced emotion in today's communications.  Many people I've talked to admit that they tend to forget to be empathetic when they should be.  They also get confused about when they should be empathetic and when they should be sympathetic.  In fact, they hardly know the difference between the two and aren't quite sure how to show either.  So let's start there.  Let's distinguish between the two.  Empathy is the ability to be able to understand what other people are going through because you've experienced the same thing or something similar.  Sympathy is feeling compassion for someone else when something unfortunate happens to them.  Therefore, empathy is about, "Hey, I know what you're going through" and sympathy is "I may not fully know what you're going through, but I'm sorry it's happening to you."  Our focus today is to know how and when ...